Back to Reality -- Football Edition

I'm back after the holiday layoff, which consisted mainly of food coma and Guitar Hero 3. Oh, and football. Lots of football. Some random thoughts:

In the aftermath of the Aggies' thrashing of my Texas Longhorns, I have to say a few kind words about A&M quarterback Stephen McGee. He's brought his A-game for three straight years against Texas and won two of them. The Longhorns dared him to throw and he did. He completed 25 of 36 passes with three touchdowns and two interceptions for a career-high 362 yards. He played with a grit and intensity that is the signature of football played at its best. Hats off to him. I also admire the young man from Burnet for the way he stood by his embattled coach, Dennis Franchione. I wish the Fran-man was worthy of the loyalty, but, as a former S-T colleague once told me years ago, Fran is all about Fran. And, as another Startlegramer pointed out, Fran showed his true colors again on Friday. This, of course, after he left every gadget play on the field to beat the Horns. I'm sure the Agroid faithful wonder where was this Dennis Franchione for most of the past five years? Oh, well, bring on Mike Sherman. Yeah, that is a hire sure to fill the Big 12 with trepidation.

Get used to saying the No.1-ranked Missouri Tigers, at least for one week. After an impressive victory over the Kansas Manginos, they look like a team that can handle Oklahoma this time around, although I'm having a hard time imagining a Gary Pinkel-coached squad reaching the promised land. I'll be rooting for them, which is sure to be the kiss of death for El Tigres. But who wouldn't love to see a Missouri-West Virginia national championship tilt?

If I had a vote in the Heisman race, it would go to Arkansas' Darren McFadden, whom we all owe a debt of gratitude for knocking off No. 1-ranked LSU on Friday and preventing Les Miles from reaching the National Championship. Mizzou-rah's Chase Daniel will get some votes and could have a shot at it. Oregon's Dennis Dixon would have had a chance if he hadn't suffered a season-ending knee injury that sent the Ducks' season south. But DMac is the nation's most exciting player to watch IMO. The real irony of this is that Darren's coach, Houston Nutt, will probably be fired soon anyway. Maybe Houston and Fran can have rousing game of "Remember when we won our last game?"

Another reason Arlington sucks: Texas A&M and Arkansas officials are working out the final details to play an annual non-conference football game between the two schools in the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium in Arlington, sources from both schools told the San Antonio Express-News on Sunday. An announcement on the series, which would start in 2009 at the earliest, could come as early as this week. My feeling are unchanged. The jihad continues.

The Austin American-Statesman's columnist Kirk Bohls usually takes a lot of shots from the Longhorn faithful for his columns, and I'm sure this one will be no different. But I usually find Kirk to be on target and this one is no different. Mack Brown is still a great coach, but he needs to fix the defensive staff like big time. In the Longhorns' past four games, the defense has given up an average of 512.5 yards and 35.3 points. Does that mean Defensive Coordinator Duana Akina is out the door? It should. The personnel are on campus for a dramatic improvement next year -- I'm talking to your Misters Kindle, Norton and Muckleroy -- but he's got to get the right coach in place to maximize their potential. Is Syracuse done with Greg Robinson yet?

Does Mike Leach Have a Point?

I've always kind of liked Mike Leach. Although he's sometimes derided as Coach PlayStation for his crazy fourth-down gambles and sometimes questionable playcalling, I think the guy is a football genius. I also like the fact that in a job where every aspect of media exposure is tightly managed, Mike refuses to stick to the script. He tells it with the bark off, like this outburst earlier this season:



However, I went to Austin on Saturday to watch the Longhorns beat Mike's Pirate School. Texas won, 59-43, in a game that was entertaining to watch, that is assuming you prefer non-stop scoring over gritty defense.

That's why I was a little surprised at Leach's comments about the poor officiating after the game.

Let's look at the calls that set off Leach. These calls came in the third quarter:

A pass to Tech receiver Michael Crabtree deep in Texas territory was ruled incomplete. Leach challenged the ruling, but it was upheld after a review.

Later in the same drive, quarterback Graham Harrell completed what would have been an 18-yard touchdown pass to Edward Britton, but it was overturned after an official review. Replays appeared to show the ball had hit the ground.

Moments later, an apparent touchdown was wiped out by a holding penalty, and Leach thought a late hit should have been called on Texas defensive end Henry Melton on the same play.

Did Leach have a point?

The Crabtree catch: If the video evidence was inconclusive, the ruling on the field stands. I couldn't tell from my seat in the stadium, and I haven't consulted TIVO yet. My thought at the time was that he caught the ball.

The Britton TD: The replay showed in the stadium clearly showed the ball hitting the ground.

The Holding Penalty: The holding call on Louis Vasquez was pretty obvious.

The Late Hit: Texas defensive end Henry Melton probably should have gotten flagged for lighting up Harrell.

Of course, Leach didn't mention Harrell's jackassery after one of Tech's TDs that could have easily gotten a flag. Leach laid in to Harrell on the sideline after that one. And that's the way it goes. Some things get flagged, some things don't. Is it a conspiracy? Is it incompetence? Is it bias? No. It's just the the way the game goes.

So does Mike have a point? Does Texas get favorable calls from the refs?

You know, Mark Mangino thought so back in 2005:



These days, Mangino doesn't spend as much time complaining about Big 12 refs because his team is 10-0. And that's what it comes down to -- if you are making the plays and winning games, you don't have to worry about the refs.

If anyone has grounds to talk about late hits not being called, talk to Texas QB Colt McCoy. There were about three hits on Colt in the KState game that could have been flagged. Then there was the time he got blown up by Auston English after a play was stopped in the OU game. Texas lost both of those games, but was it because of no-calls? Nope. It was about not making plays.

Look, Leach is a smart guy. He's got a talented team and he's frustrated that things haven't gone better for them this year. I understand that. But his team has to make the plays, and right now, his defense isn't doing that. I don't think any of the calls in question would have turned the game for Tech. Texas moved the ball at will on the Red Raiders and chewed up lots of clock. That killed Leach's team more than the refs.

Leach has lots of talent on his pirate crew. He's got a powerful offense, but his team needs to play better defense. If that happens, I think a lot of his officiating problems will disappear.

Sometimes, You Just Gotta Laugh

Barking Carnival put it best: "Tyrell Gatewood has a grandparent with glaucoma, a sibling with anxiety disorder and a baby with a cough." At least he left his gun at home.

Texas 34, TCU 13

Well, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Actually, TCU brought the kind of game I thought they would, at least for one half. The Frogs play some salty defense, they just don't have the same kind of offensive weapons or depth as the Longhorns. I'm glad my guys won, but I'm mostly just glad this one is over. Now I can go back to rooting for both teams.

No hard feelings?

TCU -- Get Ready To Rock

1967.

That's the last time TCU beat Texas in Austin.

Saturday.

That's the next time TCU will beat Texas in Austin. As they say on the interweb, mark it down.

Based on the underwhelming performance of my Texas Longhorns on Saturday against Arkansas State on Saturday night, I don't see how the Horned Frogs don't roll out of Austin with the biggest win on Gary Patterson's tenure and the biggest TCU victory since they depantsed the USC Trojans in the Sun Bowl more than a few years ago.

And why is that? Well, this is the embarrassing part -- athletes. Check out this analysis by PB at Burnt Orange Nation. TCU just has better defensive personnel than the Horns. And that should never be. But it is.

And next weekend is going to suck.

Best and Worst of College Football

The Best: 59-year-old Mike Flynt is giving new meaning to being a college senior. He's a grandfather and a card-carrying member of AARP. He’s also got one year of athletic eligibility left. That’s why he just returned to Sul Ross State in Alpine and made the Division III football team’s roster, 37 years after he left and six years before he goes on Medicare. He's eight years older than his coach and has two kids older than any of his teammates. He could be in action as soon as Sept. 1.

The Worst: Taking the Red River Rivalry way too far, an Oklahoma City man has been charged with aggravated assault and battery, accused of causing extensive damage to another man's scrotum just because he wore a University of Texas shirt into a local bar. Allen Michael Beckett could be looking at five years in prison for his alleged attack on Brian Thomas. To read the whole sordid tale, check out NewsOK.

I Love This Time of Year

And it ain't because I like fryin' eggs on the sidewalk. It's because I have a fever, and the only prescription is college football. I was going to put together this whole long ode to my love of the sport, but words fail me. It's something you just kind of have to feel ... like winning ... in The Shoe ... at Night. Remember that one Mike?

Speaking of The Circle

That's a mighty cute shirt there, isn't it? TCU's ready to go for this game. On Monday at Joe T's, the Fort Worth Longhorns gave Mack Brown one of these shirts to take back to the team and let 'em know what we see here in the Fort. Don't get me wrong. I like the Frogs just fine. But I'd like the wear 'em out on Sept. 8. For interested Horns in the Fort, Texas Exes is hosting a happy hour at the Mellow Mushroom on the Circle at 6 tonight.

Nonetheless, TCU Coach Gary Patterson has more to worry about that a football game. His 19-year-old son, Josh, will be headed to Iraq with the 4th Infantry Division by the end of the year. My thoughts are with them in the hopes of a safe and speedy return.

Cotton Bowl Keeps Hangin' On

Gil LeBreton discusses the Texas-OU game staying in the Cotton Bowl until 2015. Hey, I'm happy about this. I actually like the freaking Cotton Bowl. And if this game moves to campus sites or JerryWorld, it will not be the same.

One thing that is the same: OU sucks.

4Sale: 1 Longhorn Championship Ring

Albert Hardy put his 2005 National Championship Ring up for sale on eBay. Kinda sad, but he can do what he wants. You'd think he'd regret it someday, but maybe it just doesn't mean that much to him.

Am I An AlternaDad?

Am I an an alternadad? Preliminary testing indicates maybe not. However, I’m still anxious.

Consider the evidence. I have worked to cultivate my daughter’s taste in:

Godzilla movies

Speed Racer cartoons

Lost in Space reruns

The Ramones and other “suitable” types of music. She loves “Bonzo Goes To Bitburg.”

I have bought my daughter a Waterloo Records t-shirt. We watched Bottle Rocket together so she can begin to have an appreciation of Wes Anderson movies. And, of course, I have “nurtured” her love of Texas Longhorns football has been described as “brainwashing.” While I think it doesn’t reach Manchurian Candidate levels, she knows beyond a doubt, that Vince Young is the greatest football player ever and OU does, indeed, suck.

So, what does this say about me?

The anger surrounding alternadad and hipster parenting derives from the idea that these new parents don't want to "grow up" and act like parents.

Um, guilty. But I've always thought that growing up is overrated anyway.

Instead, they give their kids fauxhawks and inculcate them with a precious taste in music and "film." I agree that this can be irritating, but find me the set of parents who haven't, consciously or not, indoctrinated their kids into a little family cult. And who's more annoying: the 3-year-old who knows Mandarin or the one who loves Devo?

I've always though an appreciation of 80s music is a greater priority than a second language. Guess that let's me off the hook. I think I’ll go pick up a Wilco t-shirt for my daughter to celebrate.

Romo Rocks Out

Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo sings Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" with Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell and the Heavy Metal comedy act Metal Skool. Yes, really. Thanks, Unfair Park.

Gopher vs. Longhorns?

New Minnesota football coach Tim Brewster wants to schedule my Longhorns. I say bring it. I'm always read for a trip to the Twin Cities.

Mancrush Alert

Vince Young is the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. Hook'em!

As my wife once said, if Vince Young and Neko Case have a child, that child shall rule the world. Or at least my world.

Like School In Summer ...

Aggies have NO CLASS!

Coach Fran apologizes for the late hit on Colt McCoy from the post-Thanksgiving debacle against A&M. I'm sorry, but this would have been more forceful if it had come out, say, a week ago.

Yeah, I'm not happy about losing a game to the Agoids, but they played a much better game. They were more physical, they made fewer mistakes, they deserved to win. Hats off to you.

However, my problem is this: when a player is seriously injured, you don't celebrate, you don't dance around like you are happy about. You take a knee, show some class and show some concern for the well-being of the other player. That's not how the Aggies reacted. They danced around and acted like they were happy that they sent a guy to the hospital. That's funny. Earlier in the game when an Aggie player went down, the crowd got quiet, put their Horns up, and clapped for the young man when they helped him off the field.

I know that injuries are a part of the game, but cheap shots are not and neither is bad sportsmanship. I want my best 11 to beat your best 11. I want players to hit hard and play fair between the whistles. If someone for your team gets hurt, I'll clap for him as they help him off the field. I want him to be OK. Playing college football is the fulfillment of a dream for so many kids. Most of them won't play on Sundays, but they have a chance to get an education and have a better life. Nothing is sadder than watching a player's career end because of injury. No one deserves that.

Fran could learn a few things about football from Mack Brown. Winning -- and losing -- graciously would be a good place to start.

Scenes from the Maul

Well, my Longhorns didn’t fare too well on Saturday, but I’m strangely OK with it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the same irrational prick who has broken a few remote controls across the years. But I just didn’t think my team played that badly. They made a few mistakes and didn’t execute when they needed to. Bottom line: the best team won that day.

And I got to say, I haven’t had a better time at a football game, maybe ever. Yeah, the Rose Bowl was great, but I was so damn nervous that it was hard to enjoy it before the game. This whole past weekend was great. A couple of random thoughts:

Saw Dave Alvin at the Continental Club on Friday night and was blown away. I’ve been a big fan for years, but have never seen him before. He played a bluesier set than I would have guessed, but he pretty much own Merle Haggard’s Kern River. And when he plays Fourth of July … all I can think is, man, that’s the best rock and roll song ever.

Another band I saw at the Bevo Blvd tailgate was More Cowbell. The lead singer is this guy I only know as Crayon from the Hornfans.com Web site. Not exactly Dave Alvin, but a lot of fun and a great band to get drunk to.

Everybody loves Mike’s Burnt Orange Chuck Taylor’s

Met a lot of nice Buckeye fans and didn’t see one burning couch. Met one guy who was going back to Bermuda. “My wife was pissed because there was a hurricane coming,” he said. “But this is No. 1 vs. No. 2.” Now that’s college football.

Met another Buckeye fan named Josh who was incredibly nice (and drunk) who said he’d never had more fun at an away game. Glad you had a good time!

Ran into some funny Georgia fans who said, “You guys have class. You’re nice to these Buckeye fans. We’d just be jerks to them.”

The only fight I saw was two Longhorn fans getting into it. Quite a scrum.

Matthew McConaughey, Matthew McConaughey gets some shit from some Hornfans, but I think the guy is good for the program. He's a superfan living the dream. And if I had a chance, I'd do the same thing.

Earl Campbell can’t walk anymore.

Eddie George was cool enough to stop and get his picture taken with a cop.

I had a great brisket taco from a street vendor at Fifth and Congress.

I also saw the most interesting looking girl while I am eating said brisket taco. She was probably 15 and wore a UT t-shirt and camoflage shorts. But what was fascinating was she had long blond dreadlocks and light green eyes and was communicating in sign-language in what looked to be an argument with her friend.

Venison sausage with jalapenos and chese esta yummy.

Living the Dream

Matthew McConaughey is doing exactly what I would do in his position – using his fame and fortune to hang out with the Texas Longhorns. That and shooting tequila with Oprah. And playing bongos naked while baked. I could go on but I think I've said enough.

Austin Road Trip

Took the whole fandamly to Austin for the Longhorn National Championship Celebration Lovefest. We saw fireworks, confetti and photos of The Tower lit burnt orange (below) to commemorate the vanquishing of of our foes. Homecooking was consumed at Threadgill’s. Kolaches were purchased at Czech Stop in West. We covered all the bases.


Discovered a cool new Austin store – Austin Modern – on East 53rd. Great kitsch and mid-century modern. Ask for Elle. She’s way cool.

The Greatest Story Ever Told

I apologize for being away so long because there’s so much to discuss. The past week has been a blur, from the trip to California to the entire surreal Rose Bowl experience to the wonderful afterglow.

It may seem like tremendous overstatement, but I have waited my entire life to see this:

Now, the Texas Longhorns have won a National Championship trophy in football for the first time since 1970. As the same pundits who last week proclaimed the USC Trojans as The Greatest Football Team Ever now rush to call Vince Young The Greatest Football Player Ever and the Rose Bowl The Greatest Game Ever Played, I am bemused, bewildered and more than a little self satisfied.

I am just glad that I was there. It was pure spectacle and I had a ring side seat. Just how good was it? Well, check this shit out (I'm the chump in the yellow circle):


Pretty good seat, huh?

You have Sandra Day O’Connor conducting the opening coin flip, LeAnn Rimes singing the national anthem, Matthew McConaughey (Alright!, Alright! Alright!) stalking the sidelines, the Goodyear Blimp, parachutists, B-1 bombers, and – My, Oh, My! – Keith Jackson. Talk about the Granddaddy of Them All!

You know what happened and how it happened. Here are a few random thoughts:

The stadium wasn’t as loud as The Shoe was for the Ohio State game, but it was close. And the Texas fans were as geeked up as I have ever seen them. Every touchdown, turnover and defensive stand was cheered with more fervor than I imagined possible. And when Vince glided across the goal line for the game-winning TD, I nearly broke my leg celebrating. “The Eyes of Texas” has never been sung the way it was after the game.

Texas fans razzed Reggie Bush mercilessly. After his lateral attempt turned into a Texas scoring drive, Hornfans taunted him with a chorus of “REG-GIE! REG-GIE!” everytime he stood in the Texas endzone for a kickoff return. He was clearly uncomfortable. Then, after a dove into the endzone for a touchdown to cap his 26-yard TD run, he walked to the back of the endzone to strike a Superman pose directed at the Texas section. USC fans then began chanting “REG-GIE! REG-GIE!” on their own. If they only knew. After the game I yelled at him, "Hey, Reggie! Vince wants his Heisman back!" Yeah, I'm just a jackass that way sometimes.

Texas tight end David Thomas was nails – 10 catches for 88 yards and almost all of them clutch. I'll miss him as much as Vince.

LenDale White is a beast and the USC O-line were everything people said they were - big, nasty and disciplined.

Things I learned from t-shirts at the game: You can't spell suck without USC, O.J. Simpson is an example of Trojan pride, Trojans bust occasionally and VY is not from this planet, just visiting.

With six and a half minutes to play and down by 12, it seemed the Horns were done. I remember thinking, “OK, if they can score on this drive, then stop SC, they should get the ball back with enough time to score.” After Vince scored a few minutes later, I turned to Mike and said, “If we can stop them, we’ll win this game.” After they did stop them, I said, “We are going to win this game.” And then we won the game.

Former SMU Mustang Craig James flashed the Hook’em to Hornfans as he walked behind the endzone to the ABC booth during the game. And Mark May, USC’s main butt-boy at ESPN, got to hear 10,000 Hornfans chant “Mark May sucks!” as he took the Walk of Shame across the endzone after the game. That had to make Mark-e-Mark feel special.

This guy in front of me brought his nephew’s Flat Stanley to the game to photograph. Actually, Flat Stanley was on a little bit of a bender. He hooked up with Flat Stacey in Vegas and got married by Flat Elvis at a wedding chapel off the Strip.

And when it was over, we were champions. Here I am with my homeboy Mike:


What can I say? I have a new thing at the top of my list of Coolest Things I Ever Did.

After the game, Colorado Boulevard in Old Town Pasadena was like Sixth Street in Austin after a home game. We ate at as nice little Italian spot called Mi Piaci where everyone dining inside and everyone walking by outside was wearing the Burnt Orange. We sang “The Eyes” in the middle of dinner. It was great.

OK, good times but – so what? I know that the anguish of the Longhorn fans pales in comparison to the long-suffering Red Sox or Cubs fans, but 36 years is a long freaking time. And I’m not exactly a t-shirt fan either. My first UT home game was 16-12 loss to Joe Paterno’s Penn State team at Memorial Stadium during my sophomore year in 1989. Those weren’t exactly the glory days.

The Horns had their moments – I was there when Peter Gardere found Tony Jones for a late TD to upset OU later in the fall of 1989 and then the next year when Butch Hadnot helped steamroll No. 3-ranked UH. But for every stunning victory, there was always an inexplicable defeat – like this ass-whipping Miami gave us in the ’91 Cotton Bowl or losses to Rice and TCU. Even the stunning victory in the 1996 Big 12 title game was followed up by the utter humiliation of the Rout 66 game to UCLA. Every step forward was followed with a step back.

But being a true fan is like a marriage – you gotta be there for better or worse. I stood in the rain at the Cotton Bowl in 2000 and watched every minute of the 63-14 drubbing OU hung on us. I watched the other Debacle in Dallas – the 2001 Big 12 title loss to CU – as a conference championship and BCS title game berth slipped away in a bizarre litany of mistakes and Mike and I sat stunned in the aftermath. And then I watched the Debacle in Dallas, Part 3 – when Bob Stoops hung 60-something on us – as my father lay dying in the bed beside me.

And I suppose that is what makes the victory that much sweeter. I didn’t just show up for the party. I know how hard the journey was to get there. And I know it’s about enjoying the moment.


It’s thrilling to watch VY cross the goal line to win The Greatest Game Ever Played, but it’s also over so quickly. The Moment is ephemeral. Already Vince is cashing in his chips and heading the NFL – and rightfully so. Already fans are looking forward to next year. Like a wonderful meal with people you love or standing in front of a work of art at a museum in a city you may never visit again, you have to savor the moment because it is gone too quickly. And, believe me, I’m savoring it.

Thanks for the memories, Vince. We’ll always have Pasadena.

Trojan farce?

An interesting perspective on USC from Slate about why the 2005 Trojans are overrated. But mostly it pokes fun at the 24-hour non-stop lovefest that ESPN (or as some wags call it USCPN) has become. Regarding the highly-flawed methodology of the USC vs. greatest teams of all-time analysis:

The ESPNers also entertained the thought of this year's Trojans facing off against great powers from a generation ago. May noted that the 1969 Texas Longhorns ("the size of the players ... forget it, they're gonna roll over them") and the 1955 Oklahoma Sooners ("Not even close, and I look at the size of the players … their starting center was 5-8, a sophomore, and 158 pounds") would both be overwhelmed by today's Trojans. Which is probably true, though one could use this method to prove that the 2005 Temple Owls were the greatest team of all time. Fielding H. Yost's 1901 Michigan team trampled opponents by a cumulative score of 550-0. But, hey, the forward pass wasn't legal then, and those guys didn't even wear helmets. The concussions alone would make this a huge Temple blowout.

I guess we'll find out how good they are on January 4. But clearly nothing will be settled until they take on Temple.